Hi all you lovely people,
Todays date is 4th Feb 2021, time 13.12pm. I just wanted to put a quick update on the blog just in case anyone out there is going through the same thing and needs a little bit of reassurance that things can get better even if it takes years.
I am now the proud Nanny of 2 Grandsons aged 2 and 5 and they will never know how how much they have kept me going, even if we do have to watch back to back episodes of Pepper Pig and random Youtube videos of grown men unboxing Spiderman toys and Nerf Guns.
I started a new job at my local college in September 2018 and I love it, even if most of it is working from home at the moment with only the odd visit on site. I never thought for one moment that I would ever work again after the illness and the op, but how wrong I was. I was truly gutted to give up my old job and leave all my friends and colleagues as I thought I would never be that happy in a job again. I have been so lucky to always have a job which I have loved doing and to always make life long friends.
Also in 2018 I became a Reiki Practitioner after stumbling on by accident. I had joined a wonderful cancer charity called Sam’s Diamonds which offers help, support and lots of laughs when you need it the most. We even took part in a calendar girls style calendar. I was Miss April 2019. One day I got talking a lovely lady called Linda who was a Reiki Master and started telling me about it. Cutting a long story short, I decided to get in touch with her Reiki teacher and see what all the fuss was about. A few months later I was attending my first Reiki training session and I am now a 2nd Degree Reiki Practitioner. I can’t simply explain what is really is but all I know is that it has helped me when I have needed it and I now help other people with their stresses and anxieties. If you have ever thought about receiving Reiki I would definitely recommend it.
I am eating and drinking all the same things that I did before cancer although some things need to be adapted slightly as my mouth is sensitive to some foods and I can not drink very cold drinks. There are ways around everything you just have to find what works for you and accept that you may need to change the way you do things from now on. The best example I can give you of this is I now have to add a bit of warm water to my glass of wine. Sounds vile I know, but needs must and if it’s that or do without then I choose that. To be honest I like it now and it makes my wine last a bit longer.
My lightbulb moment was when I realised that I had to get to know ME again and what works for me and what doesn’t. You need to spend time on yourself and get to love yourself again. This will make things easier I promise. I had to stop fighting for the old me and embrace the new different me. Only when I did this, did things start to get better. I became happier and more confident and I allowed myself to make plans in my head for the future. I know I have been more than lucky with my outcome, it’s been a bloody miracle to be honest and this is why I feel I owe it to myself and everyone else in my life to enjoy everyday and stay positive.
Stay safe, stay positive and find your happy.
Sometimes life really sucks. One minute you are happily getting on with everyday life, even if it is a bit boring, and the next you are plunged into whirlpool of life changing events that also has a devastating effect on your family and friends. I am talking about cancer, the big C, the C word.
“lets start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start.”
let me take you back to January 2015.
I am not a bad person, I’m no saint by any stretch of the imagination but I do not consider myself to be a terrible person and believe me, in my line of work I know of some who have done wicked things. So why has this happened to me? I am an average person who goes to work, has a family to look after, I drink wine at the weekend in moderation and I have never smoked cigarettes or anything else.
I am very excited on New Year’s Day because this is going to be a very exciting year. Our first Grandchild is due in May, Continue reading
It’s the day of the biopsy and I’m in work for the morning, not that I’m any use. My stomach is in knots and I can’t think of anything else. Everyone tells me I’ll be fine and it won’t hurt. Easy for them to say it’s not them having it done, but I know they mean well. In the blink of an eye we are sat in the waiting room and I am shaking. A nurse calls me in and I sit in the chair. The doctor is a young Irish bloke with an accent to die for.
We go through my medical history again and then he talks me through the procedure. I’m not sure that was a good thing as I feel like I am about to bounce myself out of the chair and back into the waiting room I’m shaking so much. Continue reading
Nineteen days later we are back at Wigan Infirmary to get the results of the biopsy. To be honest I have known the results since last October but I always hoped I was wrong. My appointment is 8.50 am and we are still waiting in the waiting room at 9.40 am. If they don’t hurry up and call us in I am going to pass out. A few more minutes pass and we are called in.
We follow a nurse into a small room where we are greeted by a doctor and about four other nurses. Continue reading
We walked out of the hospital and stood outside for a moment, everything looked the same but felt so different. Lots of people were walking around, people going into A&E, people bringing flowers for patients and some stood in the smoking shelter puffing their head off. I had a sudden urge Continue reading
The next morning I wake up and the first thought in my cancerous little head is, shit it’s real. Continue reading
The next couple of weeks are filled with trips to The Christie Hospital and Manchester Royal Infirmary to meet my marvellous team of people who will rid me of my tumour. I even need to have a mask made to cover my face and hold my head in place when I have radiotherapy. Continue reading
Cancer is like a cheap cardigan, one size fits all. It doesn’t care who you are, how old you are or what colour you are. Everyone in this special club has their own way of dealing with it. They may choose to keep it to themselves or they may choose to tell the whole world about it in a blog. It doesn’t matter how you get through it, just get through it. Continue reading
My biggest fear before my operation was to wake up and be in pain. Not only to be in pain but to be unable to tell anyone. Knowing how much pain the biopsy caused had left me terrified to say the least. Continue reading